Thursday, December 4, 2008

The next big management style craze

Everybody is coming out with new business strategy and training programs these days. From Sun Tzu's The Art of War to Six Sigma and the "Lean" craze.

I humbly submit my own contribution to the future of American business management practices:

Title: Lessons of Awesome Through American History
Revolutionizing Your Workplace Awesome

Concept: Being successful is great, but being Awesome (proper noun) is awesome (adjective). This presentation explores the nature of Awesome, and introduces concepts on how to embrace Awesome in your work life. Just like all successful high-on-fluff-light-on-content business practice concepts, several new terms are invented by combining perfectly usable words into painfully unusable buzz-words. Exampe: Synergy and Logistics become Synergistics (Existing über-word). Customer Service becomes Custervice (New über-word)

Focus Areas Covered:

· Great Concepts become Awesome Plans: Thomas Paine’s Common Sense and Thomas Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence – Don’t let great concepts wither on the vine of “somebody else should…”, declare your independence from the crowd, take action, and develop those ideas into Plancepts!

· Awesome Isn’t Always Awesome Enough: The Constitution of the United States and The Bill of Rights – Amend your own accomplishments to take them to the next level! There’s always room for more Awesome. Amendishments will help you reach the next peak!

· Hot-Head Conflicts Become Awesome Partnerships: President Andrew Jackson, General Robert E. Lee and the Aftermath of the Civil War – Workplace tensions are bound to rise, master the arts of diffusing conflict and reconstruction in the post-conflict era. These cubicles stand united by more than just aluminum and cheap plastic! Conflolution will help all parties heal their wounds!

· Ignoring the Un-Awesome Leads to Greater Challenges: Isolationism and the Run-Up to the 1st World War – Not every customer is a dream to deal with, but becoming an expert in Custervice and staying engaged, will help steer that customer relationship into the calmer waters of peaceful co-existence. Don’t just pass off your troubles to another department (Especially if that department is Europe)!

· Awesome Technology Isn’t Always Enough: Radar and the Opening of the 2nd World War – Awesome Technology surrounds us daily, enhancing our communications and our ability to track what’s going on from afar – but don’t forget to pop your head in every once in a while and inspect the skies personally! Texpertise can’t replace good old fashioned personal engagement!

· Lessons Learned by Misspent Awesome in the Modern Era: Franchise Films and the Rut of Repetition - Entertainment reigns supreme in modern-day America, and there’s no better place to look for the an example of the biggest pitfall facing the Awesome employee – Sequel-itis. Rocky 1: Awesome. Rocky 2: Not Awesome. Star Trek The Motion Picture: Awesome. Star Trek The Wrath of Kahn: Not Awesome. Every customer, job, and solution is unique – even if they seem the same in general terms. Don’t just re-hash yesterday’s success is today’s over-hyped disappointment. Embrace the concept of the Uniquel for fresh approaches!

1 comment:

John said...

The above was brought you by one of the foremost experts on Awesome. (in and out of the workplace)

Glad to see you posting again, sir.